Jealousy and Bullying

22^nd Nov 2021

Jealousy is an emotion we hear a lot about and that many of us will have experienced. Commonly, it is an emotion associated with relationships and friendships, but it is an emotion that creeps into other areas too, creating a huge impact. One of those areas is Bullying.

When we are bullied, more often than not the root cause will be some form of jealousy or envy by the person bullying you. It could be that your success has triggered something within them, and they therefore feel the need to lash out. Or perhaps your actions, or achievements, make them feel inferior and so they react with anger and resentment which takes the form of bullying or targeted behaviour.

This sort of behaviour can be hard for us to understand when we find ourselves being bullied because we may not necessarily be able to see that when we are experiencing it. It can feel very personal and intense and hard not to take personally. Especially when it comes from someone we deem to be a friend.

What then can we do if we find ourselves experiencing this sort of behaviour from friends towards us?

• Recognise it’s not your fault.
• Talk to your friend about your feelings. They may not have realized how their behaviour is coming across. Opening up that conversation allows you both to clear the air and could lead to a resolution.
• Take time to reflect on the friendship. Could it be that friendship has broken down or become toxic? If you no longer trust them, or dread getting a message from them or no longer enjoy the time you spend with them it could be time to accept that friendship isn’t one that adds value or positivity to your life.
• Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. It can feel isolating when you are targeted by someone else’s jealousy. Make sure you open up to a trusted friend, colleague, teacher or family member so that they can provide you with some much-needed support.
• If talking to them hasn’t worked, where possible, try to reduce your interactions with them to limit the amount of influence they have over your life.
• Above all, try to show compassion towards them rather than mirror their behaviour toward you. Kindness always wins. As Michelle Obama once said. ‘When they go low, we go high.’

If any of the issues within this article are affecting you, we can help. Our E – Mentors can be accessed here.

Written by Lucy Howard, BulliesOut Head of Content and Media

Thanks to Obie Fernandez @obiefernandez for making this photo available freely on Unsplash 
https://unsplash.com/photos/0GFNAelMPZA