Recognising bullying behaviour in yourself

Recognising bullying behaviour in others is quite easy but are we able to see those behaviours in ourselves? Look at the list below and answer honestly:

Have you ever …

• Repeatedly called someone names?
• Physically hurt someone on purpose (hitting, kicking, punching etc)?
• Used your size to intimidate or threaten others?
• Made fun of people you perceive as different?
• Made fun of a person’s culture or religion?
• Laughed at someone because they have a disability?
• Said nasty things about another person’s weight, hair colour, skin colour or clothes?
• Made fun of a person’s sexuality?
• Taken someone else’s belongings?
• Damaged or destroyed someone else’s property?
• Spread rumours about someone?
• Said nasty things about someone behind their back?
• Excluded someone from your group on purpose?
• Sent someone nasty or threatening emails or texts?
• Posted or shared nasty comments about another person on a social networking site?
• Laughed at someone who is being picked on?

If you have answered yes to any of the above questions, then you are probably involved in or displaying bullying behaviour towards someone and making them feel pretty awful.

Bullying is not fun. It’s not harmless teasing either. Bullying hurts and it ruins lives.  Many young people who are bullied miss out on their education because they can’t concentrate or they truant to get away from the person bullying them. Even for those who get through their bullying, the effects on their confidence, self-esteem, trust and relationships with others can last for many years. Nearly half of young suicides are as a result of bullying. Is this what you really want to do to another person?

Think about why you do these things. Is it because someone does it to you, or has done in the past and you’re angry about that? Do you make someone else look small so you can feel better about yourself? Or are you scared that if you’re not behaving in this way, you may be the one getting bullied?

There are other reasons why you may be displaying bullying behaviour and you need to be honest with yourself and consider if any of the below apply to you:

• Are you jealous of the person you are bullying?
• Are you worried about something that may be happening in your own life?
• Are you being mistreated by someone in your life?
• Are you hanging around with people who bully others and want to fit in?
• Do you like the feeling of power bullying gives you?
• Do you think bullying someone makes you popular?

Research from http://www.ditchthelabel.org showed that 36% of those who admitted to bullying others had been in trouble with the Police.  Surely this is not the sort of life you want for yourself?

Have a good think to try and work out what makes you display this type of behaviour and then ask yourself if this is really the person you want to be. The good news is you don’t have to be. It’s never too late to get help.

See our Making A Change section for help on how to stop bullying others