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Help & Information

Confidence After Bullying

When we have been bullied, our confidence and self-esteem take a huge knock. We take on board the nasty comments and try to rationalise why we were picked on, excluded and singled out.

Many people blame themselves for being bullied and end up believing they must have ‘deserved it’. But bullying is NEVER your fault. It is done by the bully.

Imagine if a friend told you that they felt they were to blame for being bullied. What would you say to them?

When a person has been bullied, it is very hard to forget what has happened. It is something we carry around with us for a very long time and it can leave us feeling very low and vulnerable. This impacts on our self-esteem and confidence.

Feeling better about yourself can take time but hopefully our tips will help:

  • Talk to someone: Having someone listen to you can help you feel less alone. You could talk to a friend, family member or another trusted adult. Of course, you can always talk to our e-mentors
  • Tell yourself that you are enough: When we’re feeling low, we never seem to remember all the amazing things we have achieved. Download our Gratitude Journal and remind yourself that You Are Enough
  • Write a list of all of your best qualities: Self-love is so important and can really help grow our confidence and self-esteem.
  • Clear out your Social Media: Unfollow or block all the negative pages/people that you might have on your social media platforms. Whilst getting “likes” and other positive feedback boosts moods and increases self-confidence, it’s important never to rely on ‘likes’ or ‘shares’ to make you feel better.
  • Hang out with people who make you feel happy: If you’re in a toxic friendship group, this can really impact on your confidence and self-esteem and drain you of your energy. Good friends are important to our mental health. They help us deal with stress, keep us strong and make us feel good about ourselves.
  • Always celebrate your achievements: It is important to celebrate our achievements – no matter how big or small. Setting goals and achieving them (no matter how long it takes) is one of the important actions a person should take. Download our Gratitude Journal and record your achievements.
  • Accept a compliment by saying ‘Thank You’: When a person has low self-esteem, they can find it hard to accept a compliment. This is because it doesn’t line up with the way they see themselves. Next time a person compliments you, accept it with a Thank you’. By accepting the compliment you are also showing gratitude for their kind words.
  • Understand that it takes time: Whatever we want to achieve takes time and practice. When we practice, we can calm our minds and banish distraction. The key is not to focus on the outcome (which you can’t control), but on the process that gets you there (Thomas M Sterner).
  • Learn to say No: So many of us probably wish we could say No more often! So why don’t we? It could be that we believe that by saying no to a request is selfish and we don’t want to let someone down. When we have low confidence and self-esteem, we tend to say Yes more often as we put the needs of others before our own needs. Being unable to say No can make you exhausted, stressed and irritable. Don’t wait until your energy runs out before you take a much needed step back to assess the situation.
  • Be true to yourself: Be clear and honest with yourself about what you truly want. Get to know yourself better and examine what you really want from life.

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Need to talk?

If you are being bullied or are concerned about someone who is, you can receive help and support from one of our trained Mentors through our e-mentoring service.

If you would like a Mentor to email you, please contact: mentorsonline@bulliesout.com

If you would rather speak to someone over the telephone, you can call Childline on: 0800 1111

For any community-related issues, such as anti-social behaviour, we would suggest contacting your landlord, the local police or your local environmental health department (where applicable), as we are unable to deal with these types of complaints.